He told me something that was different than everything I believed. It changed my world. So many things I thought I knew, things that were confused and arranged in a mess, were all put into place by his words. Almost as if he had provided a "Skeleton Key" that opened every door.
After opening a few of the doors with the key he provided I wasn't liking what I was seeing, and wanted nothing more than for it to all be a lie.
He saw this and worried for me. Then he told me he was just kidding. I became angry with him because I felt played. Toyed with and betrayed.
In truth he gave me a gift. His Skeleton Key was The Red Pill.
But I, in my cowardice, snatched The Blue Pill out of his hand and swallowed it despite his protests.
The Blue Pill gave me the ability to project my own faults and fears onto him. "He lied, he is a nobody, he was only seeking my attention!" I was able to forget the fact that I asked for him, sought him out and dragged him to me. I have been able to turn his respect for my questions into a narcissistic personality disorder and go on about my ignorance. Never to think of him again, except when I have self image problems I need to project, he will always be there as a ghostly projector screen.
After all, I believe I know everything. What he said doesn't line up with what I think I know... So he MUST be lying. I can't prove him wrong any more effectively than he can prove himself right, but of course in absence of positive proof I can assume that as negative proof.
He never fought to defend himself!!! His silence says all I need to hear to support my belief that he is fake.
I refuse to look at why I expect more from him than I do myself. I refuse to admit I was looking for him, and if I had never found him, I would have found someone else to take his place. The hole needed to be filled, then he came into my view. Synchronicity!!! No. Black magic!!! I refuse to take responsibility for my own energy when I have him to blame. I refuse to believe what he said, that I chose this, and I have the power to change it.
NO!!! I am a victim!!! I am a victim of people like HIM!!!
He owes me answers. He owes me apologies.
He was on the internet writing things. The internet belongs to me therefor he must explain himself to me!!! Some things he said don't make sense to me. Others seem impossible and I demand proof and clarity. No he cannot go back to his corner and ignore me, this is my internet. I spent my good energy listening to his words. I want it back if he's not going to hold my hand and walk me through all of the things he said, in such a way that works with my learning capacity, and explains everything else I have been told by others. What others have told me I was able to blindly accept because it fit with what I wanted to be true. But what he is saying deviates from that, and that confuses me.
He said he's from that family, but I know how that family works and if he is from that family, the internet and Google would verify that. He also said he wrote for other family members, but why haven't they defended him? Obviously I am very important to that family, so they would want me to know the truth, right?
He said he worked with that President at one point. Which is impossible because why would a nobody work with a President? Clearly that President has always been President and therefor my assumption that it's impossible has to be true.
I am being smart. Critical thinking. He just walked away and said nothing. Acting as if I don't exist. How dare he? He owes me! He owes everyone!!!
Betcha he's laughing at us. But the joke is on him, because now he's exposed. No one will listen to him now. Everyone knows he's a liar because, well, he HAS to be. There's no way he could have experienced those things. I mean, he's so calm about it. He should be broken and bruised, not well adjusted and happy. He should be insane, not collected. It HAS to be all lies. He's just an asshole.
I know everything and I am never wrong. My gut tells me what he is saying is wrong. Everything else is right, even if it has led us all nowhere, it's still right. He came along to break up my Zen. To divide my friends and waste my time. He had no right to express himself without considering my feelings as more important than him.
People are still believing this guy? They are all stupid. I am smart.